you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
