I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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