he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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