my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Can I color on your dick again?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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