Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i believe in u and ur pee
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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