The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
