2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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