you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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