i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
