I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Randomize
