Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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