Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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