Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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