i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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