My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize