i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
