apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
