You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
