What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize