i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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