You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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