PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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