I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Randomize
