whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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