Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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