Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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