wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Sorry about my life...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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