of course. lets lasso hookers.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
