The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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