bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
