We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
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yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
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Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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