dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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