If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
