i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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