Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Who did Billy Mays play for?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
