glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
