got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
