the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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