OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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