yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Still dying that you shit outside
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
