That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
