I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
