Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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