Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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