she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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