I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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