like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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