if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
