And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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