Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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