hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
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i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
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He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Never joke about your clitoris.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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