I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Rumble strips road head = magical
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
