too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
