i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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