What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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