Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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