So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
