What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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