so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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