No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
