do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
