im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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