birth control should be required to get into college
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
