I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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