happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
