before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
