id be glad to
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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