Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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