Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
