no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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