i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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