1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
